:/ I hate this feeling…
It sucks to know that you will never be perfect. I look at pictures on the Internet and such, it sucks to know that you will never look like that. And then since I don’t look like that then I won’t be perfect for someone! :/ I hate this feel I don’t understand why it still gets me. I don’t understand why I still let him get to me. I really wish that in the future there would be a chance but now I honestly wish that there was a way for me to completely forget about everything and everyone. I hate having that question pop up in my why head “what if”… What if I did that or what if I didn’t do that, how different would life be? I should be happy I have every reason to be, especially with this new and amazing guy but that one little thing is still blocking me from getting closer to mr. New! Mr. New is… New, I’ve never been treated like how he treats me and its great. He treats me just how I treat people. With complete kindness and the sweetest intentions. And I do love him! I just hate the fact that I’m letting someone who treated me horrible lied to me hold me back from a brighter future. The events that happened with him and both of know that but we have to live with our mistakes. It wasn’t suppose to end that way. :,( I mean it hurts to see how much he’s just moved on and it hurts to see myself so the same. I dont know anymore my mind is a jungle and I don’t see a way out. I just need help or a break from life for a bit. I want to see who actually cares about me.
In the end I just feel so alone, I’m scared!
I was looking through my my boyfriends pictures, I saw a picture of him and his ex that he had saved, and it broke my heart. Not because it was a picture of them to but rather, in that picture he looked more happy then I’ve ever seen him lately. I just wish I had that with him.
I’ve felt the exact way before! Things happen for a reason, and in the end I’d rather have them be happy rather then I! It’s just who I am, and no one will understand why.
Humm I don’t know how to feel about life ATM. So much is happening and I haven’t had time to Just stop and breath. My mind is so confused. I just hope that this will clear soon!